Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?

September 12, 2004 - 10:17 a.m.


I know, I use that title a lot, maybe a little too much.

I'm thinking about realities this morning. I just finished reading Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah. I've lost count of the number of times I've read this book, and the number of copies of it I've bought. My copy always disappears into the library of the last person I loaned it to, which is okay.

Another copy is in my library, I bought it used from Amazon. It only takes a few hours to read. It changed my life when I read it countless years ago, I've even forgotten who first recommended it to me. I never get tired of reading it, my aim is to give it to Son2 to read. I had decided this even before his experience with the blur between dreams and reality.

I think it takes a lightning bolt from within to really change a person's life. Sometimes that lightning bolt takes different forms. Some see them as miracles, some see them as job loss, some see them as an angry kid leaving the house with his world packed in a garbage bag hefted over his shoulder. Whatever form it takes, the end result is change.

I think Son2's lightning bolt was a catalyst for change. He saw for himself the power of his mind, when waking from the brain seizure. Reality and dream state were the same thing, and he couldn't distinguish between the two. This must be a powerful thing to take in, at a tremendous cost. Change always comes with some sort of cost.

Our reality is what we make it. That seems simple, doesn't it? The choices we make always result in something, and we sometimes think that others influence our decisions. Son2 had an event happen that he had no control over... or did he? Maybe he unconsciously asked for this, to wipe the slate clean? Perhaps it was given to him as a gift, just to see what he did with it? Only he will know. What I do know is how astounded he was at the power of his own mind, and its power to re-start itself.

He told me he started with nothing. His conscious mind still ran, he could see the reality of his mom's house around him as he tried to get up but couldn't. Then he woke again and couldn't speak or understand words or read. I've had dreams like that but never experienced that in waking hours, but he did. The illusions of dreams meet the reality of the daytime. What a gift.

I don't know why it happened, that may take a lifetime for me to learn. I can see the effect it had on him. Right now the effect is: he fears it may happen again so he stays close to people. He worries about his heart rate and blood pressure, it was high in the hospital. My guess is that was caused by the unconscious effect of the stress of being in a hospital and his strong desire to be home instead. We have more control over our autonomic systems than we realize.

He'll be fine. He'll be forever changed by this, a lifetime memory. He'll be better than before.

the last one -*- the next one

Current Terr Alert Level
Terror Alert Level
OMG, She's agonna blow!

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