Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?

May 12, 2004 - 5:30 p.m.

I can't lift my arms

So, this morning I'm off to work like a good little soldier. I make my morning admonitions to the Tan Dog to be good and not bark at the mailman. I have my coffee. I get in the car, turn the key in the ignition, just like every morning.

It explodes.

Of course I'm kidding. It wouldn't start. Wouldn't even catch.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I can't afford this. I called work and told them not to expect me which is bad, because I have a customer in person this week.

I need to have this car fixed, and I am no diagnostician. The guy that worked on it last was not answering the phone. I called a guy I drive past every morning on my way to work (when the car does run) simply because he has a tidy little shop. Neatness counts. He's terribly busy but referred me to another guy further away. They come and hitch up my poor Intrepid and away it goes.

Three hours later I got the call. It was a bad crankshaft position sensor. All totaled, it cost just enough to completely empty my checking account. I wonder how I'm going to pay the mortgage this month? I wonder which sensor will die next?

Since I was at home anyhow, I decided to mow the lawn, it was long overdue. I had some leftover frozen pizza for lunch and had a nice chat with a girl who also keeps a very tidy little shop. Neatness counts. I walked to get my car, it only took a half hour to get there. I enjoyed the scents of the flowers as I walked, and the semi-disturbing smells of peoples houses as I walked past them. When the windows are open the breeze pushes out whatever is inside. I wasn't quite ready for that.

I have a hedge on the south side of my lot that has really thrived since I put the pool in, it gets lots more water now. It's grown two and a half feet in the past three years which is good. It lends privacy for all the skinny dipping I'm not doing with all these single women I'm not meeting. It's a bitch to trim, I need to climb a ladder to get to the top of it. That's why I can't lift my arms. They're rubbery from hoisting a 15 pound Ryobi hedge trimmer/string trimmer/rototiller/edger/leaf blower over my head. But the hedge looks damn nice!

Son1 fucked up. He blew his after-school English class, and now he won't graduate. He's been hanging on by a slender thread this last six weeks and actually pulled all his grades up. But he copped an attitude, pissed off the teacher and got tossed out of class. That's three absences. He's done. Unless he can sweet talk his teacher into forgiveness, he'll be doing summerschool... after all his friends have whooped it up and tossed their mortarboards in the air.

Son2 fucked up. He got caught smoking pot at Spidey's house. She ranted and raved and grounded him. She also forbade his pothead friends from coming around but they do anyhow. So she talked to her mom in MI, and made the unilateral decision to send him there for the summer. They've lined up a part-time job for him there.

It's hard to argue with the logic, though basically I'm screwed out of seeing my son this summer. He doesn't have a job lined up here, so basically it'll be like previous summers with loads of idle time. She's also trying to remove him from his pothead friends, but he'll probably make new pothead friends over there. Plus he'll be working so he'll have the money to buy some really good shit. Oh yeah, this sounds like a really good idea.

This hasn't been a good day.

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