Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?

May 02, 2004 - 9:45 a.m.


I am a geek. Please make a note of it. Not a nerd, there's a difference. A nerd has a disconnected sense of self, the external image doesn't match the internal one. (Hey wait, maybe that is me!) I don't think I'm good enough at math to be a nerd anyhow. A geek has an unending fascination for things technical; and will lose all track of time whilst absorbed in solving a problem. (Paranthetical note: I love that word: whilst. The Brits seem to have exclusive use of it, we should take it over. There. I just did. "Whilst" is mine.)

My geekiness has served me well at times. I'm good at fixing computer issues. My nephew called me one night last week. He has an incredible knack for bringing an operating system to it's knees, he's done so on more than one occasion. Here's how the conversation went down:

Nephew: Uncle JohnnieV?
Me: Yes?
Nephew: It's me, Nephew
Me: I know. (I was a little annoyed, he was interfering with my lustful viewing of Lorelei Gilmore, she has the butt of a Goddess.)
Nephew: I messed up mom's computer.
Me: What's it doing? Or not doing?
Nephew: The screens all messed up and there aren't enough colors. I was playing a game and... blah blah blah...
Me: (stopping the explanation) What's running right now?
Nephew: Hang on, I'll shut it down.
Me: no No NO! I didn't ask you to do that! Just tell me what's running now!
Nephew: Oh! Oh, nothings running right now. Just a messed up screen.
Me: Okay. Right click on the desktop. Choose Properties, then Settings. You can fix it from there.
Nephew: (following instructions) Wow. That was incredibly easy.
Me: It is if you know what you're doing. I would suggest that you don't play that game anymore (even though I know he would go right back to it, after we hung up.)
Nephew: Thanks, Uncle JohnnieV!
Me: I live to serve. How's your mom? Does she know you screwed up her computer?
Nephew: She was the one that told me to call you.
Me: Okay. (Lorelei was beckoning me again) Glad it's fixed now. Bye!
Nephew: Bye.

And so it goes. My geeky-ness compelled me to change the answering message on my machine yesterday. If I could trust you with my phone number you could call and listen to it. It features the crazy-sexy voice of Gwen Stefani with the predictable line about answering machine messages and my voice following with the number. Ya know. In case you didn't know it was my number you dialed. I loved the effect so much (having chopped the song with a fade-in and fade out effect on either side of the hunk) that I made it my cellphone message too!

the last one -*- the next one

Current Terr Alert Level
Terror Alert Level
OMG, She's agonna blow!

blah blah:

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