Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?

September 05, 2002 - 2:06 p.m.

Thrift

The GSM announced last Saturday that this Saturday was going to be a bit different. We were supposed to dress up in football jerseys, as it is supposed to be the first day of football season.

Shit.

I have never been a football fan. It just never appealed to me. I don't go in for that macho rah-rah shit, and I could never understand the whole thing. So I've never worn a football jersey in my life. My ex used to wear one to bed. It belonged to her boyfriend... I didn't figure that out till much later. Ick.

So I went out today looking for a goddamn football jersey. Newt suggested I check the thrift stores first. Good idea. But, no luck. I hit three on the way to the sporting good store, my fallback plan.

There I had a stunning shock, like a disconnect notice on a utility bill. Seventy five fucking dollars for an NFL licensed football jersey. No fucking way.

For five minutes I contemplated buying it, wearing it on Saturday and then returning it on Monday. But I don't want to support the NFL's greedy licensing scheme any more than I want to support Micro$oft's greed for money.

Nothing at K-Mart either.

Then I saw something on the way home that made me slow down and do a U turn across four lanes of traffic.

A Goodwill store.

Not any store, this was a Goodwill store that Jody Naperville would be comfortable walking into. (If you're not from around here you wouldn't understand. Picture a tony brand-new subdivision where college educated young people with kids attempt to live beyond their means.) It was a Heilig-Meyer furniture store at one time, the building is only four years old. It's in a fairly new section of surburban strip malls. It's bright, clean and well-organized. The clothes are neatly hung and arranged by size and color. My kind of store! It's the Target for the rest of us!

I saw a leather jacket for five bucks. FIVE BUCKS! I almost brought it home, it had that well worn comfortable look to it.

I did manage to find a football jersey there too. It's not an NFL licensed jersey. I can see John Madden and a troop of NFL henchmen in dark business suits silently sweeping the country and snatching up all traces of NFL licensed gear from thrift stores across America. Ya know, just keeping the bloodlines pure.

But it has the two requirements I feel make a jersey a jersey. It's loosely cut, has stripes on each sleeve and a number on the front. Sold. Plus I got some drinking glasses for 50 cents each.

Did I mention it's a stone's throw from an Aldi store?

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