Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?


May 10, 2002 - 10:06 p.m.

Tales from the front

...and this one time? at band camp?

Two huge people came into the store in a Buick. They wanted to look at Durangos. Mother Sow was in charge, she asked for the price on the used Durango out front as they waddled out to the new car aisles. I ran in and got the price, and met them out where 7 new Durangos were parked. I gave her the price and odometer reading. She liked being in charge, I think. She said she wanted to drive it. Father Sow was nice and low key, I think he was used to being bossed around.

I got the keys and backed it up off the lawn where it was parked. She drove of course, and Father Sow delicately draped his coat down on the passenger side seat. He had just gotten off work I guess, and was pretty dusty.

Off we went. Mother Sow asked "Why is the fuel economy so low on these things?" Hmmm well let's see, you have a 4.7 liter V-8 engine driving a whole lot of four wheel drive running gear, Mother Sow. That's what I thought but didn't say. I merely said "It's a big V-8 and it's a 4WD truck". Then Mother Sow follows with "Would a two wheel drive truck use less gas?" Again I was thinking, what kind of stupid dork would buy a 2WD Durango?!? Out loud I said, "Yeah probably." Then she asked Father Sow, "Is that true?" He agreed with me.

There is a class of people on Earth that like to play Fuck With The Salesman. They derive great joy from ordering sales folks around like bellhops, and asking bold questions, trying to "trip them up". These are probably the same people that enjoy urine-laced drinks at the restaraunt after playing Fuck With The Waitstaff.

Mother Sow finished her test drive and was not going to buy a Durango it seemed. I asked her what she'd seen that she DID like, and she said she liked the Buick Rendezvous.

Some people deserve what they get.





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