Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?


May 02, 2002 - 10:38 p.m.

EMPLOYED

For real.

For truth.

For a real company.

But you'll never guess what I'm doing.

Go ahead, guess.

No, that isn't it. I'm too old and fat for that.

Give up?

I've been given the opportunity to sell cars for the local Dodge dealership. I had the interview with the sales manager yesterday and today he gave me the green light. It's kinda funny how this came to be.

I was doing a car dealer blitz a few weeks ago, walking in and filling out job apps and leaving them with my hugely overqualified resume. I went to this place and the lady said "just leave your application at the sales tower in the showroom."

Sales tower? What the hell is THAT? I thought that, I didn't say it. But I looked and found no tower of any kind. So I walked into a hallway with what seemed like a rabbit's warren of tiny offices. I dropped my app and resume on the desk of the office with the biggest chair I could find. It was a big leather chair. In a forest of equals, high back chairs equal success. Besides, at that point I had already filled out four apps at other dealerships in my sincere suit and I was tired of the game. I never expected a response from an unsolicited request.

Never say never. Thank you Jesus.

So I go in tomorrow to cinch the whole deal at 1 PM. The whole thing is more fast and loose than what I'm used to in the tight ass black and white engineering field where I spent the last 20 years. That's part of the appeal.

I'm used to interviewing with two or three different people, and they ask me "probing questions" like "where do you see yourself five years from now?"

That is SUCH a bullshit question and it is one I NEVER asked my interview candidates. Five years? Will you still WANT me in five years? Will you still be SOLVENT in five years? When I interviewed prospective employees, I always tried to put them at ease by neutralizing the fear factor first. You could almost see the tension dissolve as I told them that I understood that they were uneasy, and I was the nicest guy they would encounter on the corporate spanking machine that day.

I would ask them questions that would provoke thoughtful answers outside the corporate gristmill.

"Describe for me the last time you really fucked up. (actual words)

How bad was it?

What did you learn?

What will you do differently next time?"

Mistakes are merely lessons not learned.

Look out people. You never saw anything like me.





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