Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?

September 19, 2001 - 11:31 p.m.

They’re just a fad

First off, let me just say Hi to all my new friends and visitors from Uncle Bob’s diary! Here, let me find you a nice place to sit…

It’s a good thing these darn old computer things are just a fad. Otherwise they’d start running our lives; we’d start depending on them for stuff. Like mail messages from mother, or job search resources or cybersex. Alas, soon enough though this will all pass. Computers will be the Pet Rock of the 21st Century. We’ll all go back to using paper and pencils, and retyping the whole page on the trusty Smith Corona when our minds have changed and we really don’t like how that third paragraph looks.

That silly virus clobbered my ISP. Not knowing this, I did some demented detective work and messed up my networking settings. I called my ISP after hitting the wall and they walked me through the re-install. The silly virus allegedly continued to clobber my ISP so I wasn’t too surprised when I couldn’t connect all day yesterday. But I had this hollow feeling. Something was missing. There was information I needed damn it, and I couldn’t effing get to it! And this morning, business as usual or I should say: no business.

I smoked ‘em at my ISP. Mystified ‘em. I went through four phone people and none of them knew what was going on with my stubbornly unresponsive computer. We could ping anything we wanted to, I was connected! But nothing would work; no surf dude. The last phone guy curtly suggested I take my problem to Microsoft.

Microsoft doesn’t have an 800 number for help. That call is gonna cost me. Several hours, most of it spent watching as Windows went through its gyrations as it re-installed itself. All the while it’s telling me how wonderful it is, how great it’s going to be when it’s all installed and all the great things I’m going to do with it… if I could just wait a few more minutes. Cockteaser.

I almost smoked Microsoft too, but those guys have the killer troubleshooting trees. We nailed it too, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this, right? I would have had to type this and mail it to all of your houses. I just don’t have that much carbon paper.

It was a network driver thing, yup yup.

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