Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?

September 07, 2001 - 9:57 p.m.

Stop the madness

Okay, let�s get one thing straight right now.

Bears don�t wipe their asses.

There aren�t rolls of toilet paper stuck on branches in the woods. Bears don�t even know what toilet paper is, let alone get stupid smiles on their faces when they encounter a specific brand.

I don�t know why, but toilet paper commercials are always the dumbest ones on television. Come on people, its toilet paper. You wipe shit off your ass with it. Or you use it to insulate your hand from the dog shit pile you�re about to pluck up off the carpet. Hopefully in one grab.

Stop the madness.

Rodney Dangerfield has a website. I heard him on a radio re-run, and he was about to be seventy-eight years old. I don�t know when that was� Say what you want about the guy, he has staying power. He also has a religious song. No fooling. It�s called "He". You can download it for free, and he claims that if you download it and play it, something good will happen to you.

Maybe it will find a job for me.

Today was my last day of Job Search Training. I graduated. It was the last association I�ll have with My Former Employer. The HR Director came by again just before lunch (how about that). This time he brought Cute Little Rebecca with him; maybe he thought he and CLR would get a free lunch. Too early, Hatchet-Boy. He was there to ensure that one of the refugees in my class signed his Separation Agreement. They were going to hold his check hostage. They need his signature, it saves on breach of contract lawsuits.

Lunch was good. They had Big Assed Brownies. Lots of �em. I took three home for myself.

I�m sad at the end.

the last one -*- the next one