Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?2006-09-06 - 11:14 I care, so I writeDear readers, did I oversleep? I must have missed that point in history
where the news was more about the news readers and less about the news. You
know, those people that are supposed to stand in front of a television
camera and read the newspaper [essentially.] Well now CBS has a new Talking
Head! Did you hear?!? It's Katie Couric! Normally I don't pay attention to this stuff, but Katie intrigues me. She
rose to the top of the heap with a name like "Katie" for starters; a name I
always thought was bestowed upon dogs or the occasional lesbian (hey Katie,
long time no see!) Couric proved you can be still be professional, even
with a cute little vowel sound at the end of your name (take note,
Kathleen.) Here's what really fascinates me about her: she has the biggest mouth in
the business! By that I don't mean loud, I'm talking circumference. It's
huge! You know those contests where they do stupid stuff to gain entry into
some record book? I'll bet Katie could do that thing where they cram about
a hundred cigarettes into her mouth, and she'd win! Now before you fire up your anger and hit my guestbook, tell me you haven't
noticed that too. I know I know, she's all heroic and stuff, what with a
dead husband from butt cancer, and she had her butt on TV too (not in the
way that I'd like, but that's show biz.) And because it's show biz (and not
news gathering apparently), she has to take pipe from smart-asses like me
(ass, pipe, get it?) But seriously, Katie... are your writers so lame they can't even think of an ending for your program? Do you have to enlist the creative talent of your viewership and rip off some free ideas? You can bet your Bentley that Barbara Walters never had to ask for ideas. Be like her! Current Terr Alert Level OMG, She's agonna blow! |
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