Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?


April 28, 2004 - 12:40 p.m.

Damn it!

As I made my lunch today, like a good little pauper, I noticed I was out of sandwich bags. Damn it! I blamed the dog who was nearby, looking anxiously at the roast beef I was piling on my sandwich.

”It’s your fault, Tan Dog” I said, “You’re always here looking for a handout… couldn’t you tell I was out?”

I blame the dog for almost everything. Those turds I keep finding in the basement? Not mine. That half chewed rawhide bone on the living room floor? Not mine either. The fact that I’m almost out of salt in the water softener? Step up to the plate, Tandy. You’re to blame. This is why people own dogs. They also take the heat for every mis-placed fart. Dog did it.


I was listening to a college radio station on my way in to work yesterday morning. They play non-standard-issue music, and it’s refreshing. They naturally have college kids as the air talent, and that’s refreshing too. Hearing a 20 year old kid stumble through the news read reminds me of my radio days. On Dubleyew Eff Eye Enn.

I got a kick out of the girl DJ yesterday, she reminded me of me at that age. She played Spiderwebs by No Doubt because it was a song they did “before they started to suck.” I will always like that song, even though it reminds me of the year my marriage crashed. The girl DJ had the courage to tell personal anecdotes to fill time… it made her more than just a voice in the air. She was pretty preoccupied with the suckiness of commercial music as I was at one time as well. Her choices for songs were all good though. She also had a list of “100 Bands that Suck Less than Dave Matthews”. More with the sucking.

Speaking of that, I’ll see your “throb”, nixtress, and raise you one “opened flower.”





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