Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?

February 26, 2004 - 10:24 p.m.

Girl One

First yield from here, we met last Sunday. This was a culmination of the whole eHarmony process where they assure me their results are scientific and accurate. Science has nothing to do with it.

She had a beautiful glamour shot posted as her picture. I've heard rumors of women who post pictures of other people, like a shiny lure for a hungry bass. I was skeptical.

Her value set matched mine, but alas we all basically believe in the same things, unless we're psychopathic by nature.

The first alarm bell went off before we met. Her email answers to my questions were barely literate. I wondered if perhaps she typed with her eyes closed, or maybe her keyboard was broken? Rule 1: She must be able to compose her thoughts in complete sentences. Spelling is a definite plus.

We met halfway in a very nice family style restaurant. And yes, it really was her in that picture. Alarm bell two sounded as we began to talk. Her grip on the English language was more casual than mine. I tried to remain open minded, after all it really don't matter how people talk, it's what they say.

Yes it does matter. It matters a lot. Rule 2: Articulation and grammar are paramount.

Alarm bell three sounded for the rest of the meal. Blah blah blah I did this... Blah blah blah Me me me... Blah blah blah My ex-husband is such a jerk... You get the picture. I got the picture too, all about her and her life. Dale Carnagie taught me years ago that everyone's favorite subject is themselves. If you want people to instinctively like you, ask them questions about themselves, show an interest. Good conversation is a two way street. I got caught up in the wheels of this bus, running on a one way street. I got bored. Rule 3: She must show an interest in something besides herself.

I got an email from her a few days later. She said she had a nice time, but she didn't feel "that spark." No shit! I replied in kind and wished her a nice life. I really wanted to send her sort of a Customer Satisfaction Survey, but she probably wouldn't get it.

Onward. I have three dates with other women scheduled this week. I'm a busy guy.

the last one -*- the next one