Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?


September 09, 2001 - 4:55 p.m.

#@$%^**!!

Itís overcast and rainy outside. It matches my mood. I dipped into the Galiano. Iím sorry honey, I felt like getting a buzz on. Iím conflicted with a hundred different emotions. Theyíre like colors of the rainbow, but mostly the colors are focused in blue and gray hues. Blue seems to be predominate.

I think in the interest of promoting happiness and contentment within myself, Iíd better tell stories of happiness, to lift the mood.

The first story is of the feelings connected with the time I spent with my Intended last Wednesday night. Perhaps you know the feeling of bliss and contentment I felt when I first saw her. If not, you should someday. There is a spark in me, a burst of light that goes off in me when I see her. Itís like all that distance that we share closes up in an instant when I see those eyes. An impulsive smile crosses my face and itís a hard one to extinguish. The smile is connected to the feeling thatís connected to the union between us thatís connected to the sense that we were destined to meet in this time in this place in this perilous time. We have to resolve the conflicts that keep us apart because we both know the end is worth it. We steal time and triumph together because we both know the separation is temporary. After four and one half years apart we will be together.

Weíll be together permanently soon, and laughing together, especially at those that didnít think it would work.

The second is the time with Son2 today. His mom bought a new portable CD player for him yesterday. Spidey decided that sheíd rather be with her friends at some bar in Naperville today than to be with her kids. Son1 is at a movie with ToughGuy and his older brother, so Son2 was left alone. He called me to ask if I could bring over his headphones, the ones that wrap around the back of your head rather than the top.

Gladly. Itís a chance to see him. He was heading out on his bike for a ride. In the pouring rain. I felt bad leaving him there; but sometimes we have to let our little charges go off and do things they want to do.

He told me he wants a new bike. He went off to Toys R Us and Target. In the rain. To see what bikes he could find. He called me to tell me about it. Heíll have to fix his own dinner.

He knows the difference between Spidey and me. He recognizes that when they were here with me, I was there to be with them always. Any diversions I might have had (there arenít many) were put on hold because they were first. Someday theyíll remember that.

Love stories always cheer me up.







the last one -*- the next one


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