Whoa! Didja get the numbers off that truck?!?


2001-08-27 - 10:43 a.m.

I’ve been had!

I went out last night to drop off the kid’s clothes that I had washed during this weekend’s laundry. It’s that last step in the transition from my house to hers. I wasn’t gone for very long.

I got back and heard the dogs barking, which is not unusual. What was unusual was that they were barking from my room, with the door closed. I didn’t remember leaving them up there.

I climbed the stairs to let them out. Every time I come back to them it’s like I’ve been gone for years. “Omigod are we happy to see you! You’ve been gone forever!” It was dark upstairs so I turned on the ceiling fan light, but it didn’t work. Hmmm. The hallway light doesn’t work either. Musta popped a fuse. The basement stairway light is out too. The dogs, still caught up in their state of euphoria in having me home after all these years followed me into the basement.

All the breakers are fine. It seems strange to me that only the lighting circuits are affected. I looked at the house wiring diagram and figured that one half of the line voltage was not working. Oh well, I’ll worry about it tomorrow. I figured it was a Com Ed thing, and maybe they’d fix the problem overnight. It’s like a power outage, mysterious things happen behind the scenes and then suddenly the power re-appears.

When I returned upstairs I noticed the batteries were missing from the TV remote. Then I knew. Son1 had visited with his girlfriend while I was gone. Sure enough, his guitar and practice amp were gone. But why take all the AAA batteries?

This morning it was the same. There was no miraculous re-appearance of power. I left for work and called Com Ed to report my problem. Then I called Spidey’s house to ask Son1 if he’d noticed any unusual power problems when he was there.

Son2 answered the phone. Son1 was still asleep, it’s not noon yet. I told him that I knew Son1 was there while I was gone. I told him to relay the sad news that someone had come into the house and stolen his guitar and amp. Then I mentioned the power problem.

“The light bulbs are unscrewed, Dad.”

Ah HA! I started laughing as things started making sense. My son the consummate practical joker! I had one for him too. “Tell Son1 I hired an electrician to look at the wiring and the house call is going to cost seventy five bucks.” I think on the way home I’ll stop by there and tell him the electrician said all the wiring from the meter socket to the pole is bad and it all has to be replaced for oh say… $585.00. It has to be an uneven number to make it more believable.

Then we discussed other ways to get him back. Dev was in favor of sprinkling salt in his bed. I liked the Vaseline on the doorknob trick. I have time, I’m sure we’ll think of more things to do.

This means war!







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